Stand Off

Cy and I have been having a stand off for the past 45 minutes.

Is it too much to ask that my children use the word PLEASE and SORRY?

It all started with the Letter E.

"Cy, can you hurry and get your E's done?" I asked patiently, surprised and pleased with myself that the kitchen was actually clean after lunch and I was forging through the laundry. I was the model mother . . . it only lasted about 5 seconds, though.

"I want to paint."

"Finish your E's and then you can paint."

Pouting and heat rising, he loudly insisted, "I want to PAINT," as if I hadn't heard him the first time.

I wasn't going to meltdown . I refused to . . . today. My laundry was halfway done, I was the model of efficiency . . . I was in control.

"Finish your E's and then . . . "

And then I knew it was too late. We were heading for a stand off and there was no turning back now. Cy wouldn't give up, and neither could I.

Ignoring his pleading to paint while (yeah, right) he worked on his E's, I asked if he wanted help. No response, unless you consider that downturned lip and limp body on the chair a response. So I went down to do the laundry. When I came up, he was on a mission. "Mom, I said I wanted help!" he screamed.

I was still calm. It was almost out of body for me. That laundry was getting done. "No you didn't. I asked if you wanted help and you ignored me. . . . But, would you like help?"

"I ALREADY SAID YES!" he screamed blisteringly. And then it really was over. He would not give up or give in. And I would not allow my child to talk like that to me. His emotional stability, his ability to work with future coworkers, a future wife rested entirely upon me not letting him win.

"When you are ready to ask nicely, I will help you." That didn't work. He bawled and screamed and cried and I ignored him as I folded towels and garments and socks. "Say, 'Mom, could you help me please?'" I said, sickeningly sweet.

I don't know what it is, but Please is a dirty word in Cy's vocabulary. He won't say it. He won't say it--especially not when I back him into a corner. And so he didn't. He was finally hauled off to the bathroom for time out where he kicked the door and yelled a mean word at me, for which he had his mouth washed out with soap--twice.

But eventually, he came around. About an hour later and here are the pictures to prove it. He actually did smile as he finished his E's and I didn't give in. The laundry got done and my son finally said Please.

But what I really need is for him to PLEASE not throw a tantrum for at least another week!