Wha a Smiley Face Can Do

So I went to Cy's parent teacher conference the other day and she told me that everything was going great. He was so smart; he can read well; he knows his shapes and colors and address, BUT, she said, "I'd like you to work on something at home with him."

What could it be? His phone number? Does his breath stink?

"I'd like you to help give him incentive to follow directions the first time he is asked. I know this will make a huge difference for him in 1st Grade."

Um, yeah, I sort of knew about that . . . but he's the youngest, he's the baby, and he's pretty much gotten his way for about five and half years now and so I've never really made him do stuff the first time. I pretty much like asking him 29 times to put on his shoes, or to buckle his seat belt, it keeps us talking together. . . . Except for when I finally lose it and start screaming on the 30th time.

So, it took me two weeks to finally sit down alone with him and explain about our new system. I reminded him about his favorite toy (after which he corrected me) and I said, "Would you like it if we went and bought one of those?" His face lit up. "Yeah!"

"Well, here's the deal. I need you to learn how to obey Mom when I ask you to do something. And so, every time I ask you to do something and you Do it right away--the first time I ask you--you'll get a smiley face. And as soon as you get 100 smiley faces, we'll go and buy your new toy."

He was practically jumping for joy. "But, everytime I ask you to do something and you Don't do it the first time then I'll erase a smiley."

Then I made a chart and we did his homework. Something that would have drug out for an hour as he messed around, only took us 10 minutes. I promptly drew a smiley face.

An hour later after dinner he said, "Mom, if I clear the table by myself can I get a smiley?"

"Sure" I said as I watched him heft the crockpot and the plates and the salad dressing to the counter.

15 minutes later, "Mom, do you need some help?" I knew what he was after, but I had never heard those words escape his lips. "You bet I do." He climbed up on the sink and hand washed the dishes.

This morning he didn't get his shoes on the first time I asked and so I had to erase a smiley, but on the way to school he said proudly, "I'm going to put my seat belt on." Another phrase I have NEVER heard. "That just earned you two smileys! I didn't even have to ask."

Cam once read a book called "Punished by Rewards," and so he's gun-shy when it comes to bribing our kids. But I am loving it.